Dilbert: Spanish-English Translation from the "No Help Whatsoever Desk"

Man: Hello, is this the "Help Desk"?
Dogbert: No, that group got reengineered out of existence. I'm the new "No help whatsoever desk." My job is to make sure you never call again.
Man: Can you tell me how to make a pie chart?
Dogbert: Crush your computer into small chunks, add flour and bake one hour. While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a spanish story about a guy named "Manual." Repeat the process until you get the desired result.
Man: (Sitting by oven, reading manual) This has lost a *lot* in the translation.